He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
If I had your ass I would rule the world
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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