I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
