Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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