Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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