Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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