plz talk dirty to me
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
