just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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