If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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