I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
