dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
