Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
