You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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