Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
