His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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