i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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