i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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