yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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