Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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