I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
As shirtless as possible
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
