I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
