So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
