And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
