so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
the day after is always just damage control
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Come share oat with me in your robe
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
