I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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