do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
