How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
