i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
