I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
