I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Randomize
