I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
