i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
