hotel room ftw
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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