so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
