dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
she looked like the before picture.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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