So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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