Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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