i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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