You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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