I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
