Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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