What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
