Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
