i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
