Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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