I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
