i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
