Me too!
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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