Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
