Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
