I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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